whining again

Look Out, Minor Vent Ahead

on January 28, 2009

It’s time to come clean. I’ve been kind of having a rough time lately. Not the kind of rough that a lot of other people are having. No sub-zero temps or unemployment offices. Nothing end of the world.

It’s just that I had my heart broken recently. It was pretty bad. And as always, it was so obvious in hindsight. I mean, blatantly obvious. Like smack me upside the head and dunk my ass in ketchup obvious.

One of the most annoying things, and trust me when I say there are a TON of annoying things about this situation, is that I’m not supposed to be dealing with puppy love, and games and broken hearts when I’m pushing 40. Seriously, none of these things sound like grown up stuff to me. And I’m a Capricorn, we’re all about being grown up.

I feel silly crying or whining or name calling. Okay, the name calling is kind of fun. And therapeutic. But the rest is for kids. For adolescents with raging hormones. For sorority girls whose greatest worry is getting pinned. I’m a grown up, gosh darn it!

Anyway, I was flipping channels tonight and came across one of my favorite movies of the last couple years – Juno. I know some people didn’t like this one, but I love it. And there’s a line in it that actually made me feel better. It’s delivered by Juno’s dad, Mac.

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.

For that line alone I’d like to shake Diablo Cody’s hand. Isn’t that just the perfect line? And so simple. It makes it all sound so damn simple. Why can’t it really be that simple? Don’t worry, that’s not the question of the day. I don’t really expect anyone to answer that one.

The point of this is not to get a dozen people to tell me I’ll be okay and I’ll find someone better and all that load of malarkey. Really, don’t encourage my pity-party. The point is, well, I’m not sure what the point is. I guess that I’ll live. And life will go on and maybe someday I’ll find someone who thinks the sun shines out my ass.

But for now, I want to know this. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you looked around and had no idea how you got there? Have you ever experienced anything as an (alleged) adult that you thought you left behind with the pimples and the braces? And would someone tell me when is the first day of spring, because I really need some good news right now.

One of THOSE Weeks

on March 20, 2008

I realize I whine about the chaos in my life on a regular basis. All I can say is “this is my blog and I’ll cry if I want to.” *g* But this week is one of those chaotic weeks that make the others seem like a cake walk.

It’s the week before a holiday and the week before my child goes on a trip. A trip that requires me to drive her over 500 miles to the ex. I’m pretty used to hopping in the truck for these little adventures of ours. I don’t even mind the solitude of the drive home alone. I usually get lots of plotting done and if I find a good one, get an entire audiobook listened to start to finish.

But the lead up is what bothers me. For some reason, these are the weeks some extenuating circumstance creeps up and throws a monkey wrench into my plan to stay on top of things. Thanks to the start of softball and a school talent show, my house is a mess, packing is not done, dishes are not done. I have one final to take (of course this has to be finals week!) and I need sleep if I’m going to survive the next two 16 to 18 hour days, most of those hours behind the wheel.

Every night I say I’m going to bed early. Never happens. To be fair, this issue is not unique to this week. I simply have no discipline.

Next week will be better. I can exhale, get the house clean, and maybe even get some writing done. Notice I say maybe. *grumbles at stupid procrastinating self*

Ever have one of THOSE weeks? Months? Years? Any meditation techniques, cleaning service phone numbers, or effective hiding places you’d like to share?

PS: I googled “chaos” in images and got that cute little guy up top. He’s a boxer puppy and his name is Chaos. Isn’t he just the cutest thing?!