I think I’ve hit some kind of transitional time in my life. Or a few brain cells have grown back. Either way, I’ve made some recent discoveries/observations about life in general and my life in particular.
We’ll start with life in general.
1.) When did tooth brushes become impressive collaborations of engineering and artistry? My new tooth brush could hang in a museum. Four colors, ridges, bumps, ergonomic shape and three different textures. The bristles are not only different colors, but different lengths and pointing in different directions. What exactly is going on in this mouth of mine? I mean, I know my teeth are crooked, but how could they know that?
2.) What must it be like to have thighs that don’t touch? I’ve noticed women like this over the years, ones whose thighs have never been introduced. Strangers performing an important task autonomous of each other. Oblivious even. Though I like my curves, sometimes, part of me would like to know what this would be like. It’s so foreign, I can’t even imagine it.
3.) When did common courtesy become extinct? On the roads, in restaurants, at the mall. We won’t even mention public restrooms. (Okay, technically I’ve mentioned them. Whatever.) It’s a wonderful day if I make it from point A to point B without using language seriously unbecoming a lady. In fact, I can’t remember the last time it happened.
4.) Cell phones are the final straw in the decline of civilization. I’ve sat in a restaurant sharing a meal with as many as half a dozen people, and everyone at the table was on a cell phone. Except me, as my child was using mine. Recently I witnessed two women out to lunch together and ignoring each other while texting other people. Texting while driving is the newest threat on the highways. As if we needed another hazard. The bloody things should be outlawed and we should return to the days when we didn’t have to be in touch every second of the day and night.
That’s enough whining about the world, time to move onto me.
1.) Life is for the beautiful people. I realize that doesn’t sound like it should land in this section, but it should.
2.) Though I’ve found getting older has many benefits, some things never change no matter how old you get. I have no discipline. None. In fact, getting older makes one more aware of exactly what they should be doing. Being aware and actually doing these things are light years apart.
3.) I’ve figured out why I eat too much and fail to exercise. No, I’m not typing it here. It was hard enough to admit to myself.
4.) My daughter has reached *that* phase. This weekend, I attended a basketball game. I didn’t know anyone involved, but (and this should say it all) there were boys playing that my daughter knows. Yes, we’re now going out of our way to attend events for no other reason than there are boys involved. I’m frightened and a little excited at the same time. And admit, the game was sort of fun to watch.
Anyone have anything to add? I’m off to have a brownie. Or three.