Casual Dating or Hours I Can Never Get Back?

That is the question. I’m making an effort at this casual dating thing. I’d heard about it, of course. I mean, I’m no spring chicken over here. But in my past I’ve been a serial monogomer. (I can’t believe spell check just suggested mongooses for that one…hehehe) I would meet a guy, hit it off and boom we’re a couple. Apparently short term relationships are not in my make up.

But I’d like to think I’m older and wiser now. And since jumping into relationships hasn’t totally paid off I figure I should increase the numbers as it were. I have gone on three dates in less than two months (I know – watch me go!). Two of those were with the same person. To say there were no sparks on any of these dates is an understatement. And it’s not the fault of the other parties. It’s all me. But I also don’t think I’m too picky. If you ever met my ex you’d agree. So what’s a girl to do?

Do I stop trying? That would make me a quitter and a lonely quitter at that. Do I get more selective? These dates were nice, clean men of an appropriate age for me. Both had good jobs. This is apparently not enough for me to make a connection. Perhaps this is where my reading of romance novels has become a detriment. (Yes, brought that back around to writing!) I don’t believe I’m looking for some romance novel hero – I’m certainly no romance novel heroine – but as Meg said in Sleepless in Seattle, I want magic. Whatever that is I want it. And I know my last three dates didn’t have it. Neither did the one before these three but I’ve blocked that one out completely.

So, tell me, am I wasting my time? Should I put my energies to better use and get off the dating wheel (again)? I’m a busy woman. Surely I could make better use of my time. What’s the answer? Give me a reason to go on!

18 thoughts on “Casual Dating or Hours I Can Never Get Back?”

  1. MsHellion says:

    It’s like winning at PowerBall. The odds are steep, but you’re unlikely to win if you only play a few times.

    You’re better off pooling your resources so you have a better shot at winning. Perhaps this is where SpeedDating lies.

  2. terrio says:

    Maybe we should try it while you’re here. I’ll do it if you will…

  3. MsHellion says:

    PowerBall? I’ll be GLAD to buy a PowerBall ticket while I’m in town.

  4. terrio says:

    Har Har Har…

    I don’t care who ya are that’s funny right thar.

  5. I’m humming “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places” right now. I think everything is accidental. At some point you’re going to trip over The Guy. In the meantime, just go out and have fun, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, what Maggie said! Relax and step back for a bit.

    Glad to hear you gals are wracking up ‘Things for which I will be eternally, woefully sorry I ever tried!’.

    That’s the stuff of memories!

    Santa

  7. Anonymous says:

    Hi Terri

    You poor thing, so this is where you hang out…I’m impressed!

    I know several couples who met through online dating agencies. The best are very good. You get to know a person that interests you through e-mail before meeting (or dumping!). There are also specialised agencies…eg one for academics.

    If I was available you know I would have you like a shot and I’m top of the range *g*. I’m sure that I’m not unique so there must be many out there who would admire and love you.

    Don’t give up gal, just go steadily and let it all happen.

    Quantum

  8. terrio says:

    Maggie – thank you that song will now play through my head all day. LOL!

    Santa – I guess I could look at is as fodder for future books…

    Q – You made me blush. Mwah!

  9. Stephanie says:

    You know, I think I’d feel like I were wasting my time if I were going on evening dates or things on the weekend and then they weren’t working out. I mean, yah, you’d feel like you could have done something better with your time. I think I’d go with lunch dates. They’re quick and I’d feel like I’d still have my evenings free if the date was a dud.

  10. terrio says:

    That’s a good idea, Steph. I hadn’t thought of that. But where I live is a very spread out area so that’s not always feasible.

    That’s the thing. I really do have a ton of stuff to do so losing three or four hours of reading, writing, homework, laundry, cleaning time is not good. Unless those things are replaced by great sex and that’s just not happening. LOL! Sorry just came from Tessa’s TMI blog and was still in that frame of mind.

  11. I have this song stuck in my head that goes something like…”Never, never, never give up…” But somehow I don’t think that’s the best reason to give that advice.lol. Hey, can I play powerball with you and Hellion? Sounds fun.lol.

  12. terrio says:

    Of course, Kelly. You pay your dollar you get a piece of the prize. LOL!

    Unless we’re talking power balls and then we should probably each get our own set…

  13. Anonymous says:

    Hey, don’t sell yourself short. If you keep going out into the field, you’re bound to find something. Personally, I’m going out more, and meeting more people, and that’s always a good way to pick up future dates. Not that I know anything about that….nope, not me….[whistles as she walks away]

    Di

  14. terrio says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  16. terrio says:

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  17. irisheyes says:

    Terri – I tend to concur with Hellion and Maggie. You gotta kiss a lot of frogs…yada, yada. And maybe things aren’t exactly accidental but maybe fated. I would hope that there is someone for everyone.

    I guess it all comes down to priorities. How important is reading, writing, homework, laundry, cleaning time in comparison to great sex?! You have to ask yourself the hard questions! LOL

  18. terrio says:

    Irish – leave it to you to put it all into perspective. You are so right. Nothing beats great sex. What was I thinking?

    Here’s to the cause. Bring on the dates…LOL!

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