Profile Pictures or For the Love of…

Posted Jan 24 2017, 9:33 am

I’m going to address this blog to the men of online dating sites. But, to preface, I opening admit that I am certainly not a looker. I mean, I don’t have pictures of my hot body all sweaty from the gym. Mostly because I don’t have a hot body. Nor do I go to the gym (despite paying my membership monthly.) I’m not skinny or perky or model-like. I am well aware of all of this, so there is no need for rebuttals that begin with the words “Yeah, but you…” I know. I truly do.

So here we go.

First off, please stop using images of you holding up dead fish. Really. I’m sure the size of that fish impresses your friends, and somehow conveys your ability to provide for your mate, but just stop.

I get that selfies are a thing right now. One of the pics on my profile is, indeed, a selfie. But by all that is holy, please do not use a selfie taken so close and at such an angle as to make your nose hair the focal point of the image.

Sticking with the selfies, please stop taking your picture with your phone in your bathroom mirror. For one, I don’t want to see your bathroom. That just isn’t a sexy room. And for two, it looks ridiculous. Have someone else take your picture. Your neighbor, perhaps. Your barber or barista. Anyone else.

Onto the expression. I’m sure that you think you look tough when you make that gruff face, but in truth, you look scary. I have no doubt this is what some women want. And if girls who like big scary guys is your thing, you go on with your grimacing self. But perhaps something a little less threatening would be better. Show us that pretty smile. Or sexy grin. Now there’s an idea!

Put clothes on. Enough said.

And because some guys get it right, I send out special profile pic kudos to the men who pose with their pooches. Brava, my good men. Brava.

PS: While posting this blog I got a message from a 31 year old. Not going to lie, that was a nice ego boost. (No, I did not take him up on the offer.)

5 Comments

Comments

5 responses to “Profile Pictures or For the Love of…”

  1. Santa says:

    Maybe holding up a big fish means the same thing as having big feet or hands. Just sayin’.

    Agreed on the bathroom and sweaty shots. TMI.

  2. Single in the hood says:

    My favorite is when they have 5 photos that are all group shots and you can’t figure out which person in the group has the dating profile. Am I dating the whole group? If which case, I think that’s for a more specialized dating site…

    • Terri says:

      That drives me nuts. Or the ones where the pic is from about 30 feet away. Who can tell what they look like from that shot. And I want to say that looks don’t matter, but that would be a lie. They totally do.

  3. Phyllis says:

    I have to say that being single seems to be a really tough thing. I used to think being a “mom” was tough. lol
    So many things to actually fear being single, and I totally agree with you about the pictures, and what about ones when they are with women? Find any of those? Oh its my sister or whatever. Who would do that?

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